Thursday, February 28, 2013

Cancer Journey...

The word cancer is not something you ever think you will get. I never thought that. I have always been good to my body and fortunate in life to not experience many medical issues. I have never had surgery except dental surgery, never had a broken bone, and never been seriously sick except for colds and the flu. Cancer is not discriminatory though. I have known people who had cancer. They fought it and won. Some tried to fight it and lost. To me cancer does not care who you are or what you are. 

Fortunately for me the cancer I was diagnosed with is curable. Curable by surgery and medicine for the rest of my life. Sounds good to me. That does not sound to crazy. No, it is not crazy but the journey I started fall of 2011 changed my life and I did not realize it at the time.I am stubborn always have been. Doctor visits are twice a year so that I stay regular and nothing crazy happens to me. I am not afraid of doctors some people are though. The journey started with a regular physical. He felt around on my neck and thought one of the nodules felt bigger than the rest. He told me to schedule an ultrasound. Here comes the stubborn in me. I thought okay as soon as I get some time I will do it. I could do it during spring break then I will have time or maybe even during Christmas break. I was in no hurry obviously and the cost of ultrasound seemed expensive. At the time I was gung ho into Dave Ramsey's financial peace and anxious to pay my credit cards. Go see the doctor again in the spring and he asks if I got the ultrasound. No, I will though. That was my answer for many of his questions. You have to realize medical issues were not part of my vocabulary. Let us not forget I am dating now so that is priority. Haha! I had just started my masters so that was priority as well. So finally got the ultrasound not by choice though. The ultrasound proved the nodule as more than 2 cm.  To me 2 cm is small, but in the medical field 2 cm is a big deal. Meanwhile life still goes on, I am doing well in my masters, started dating a great guy, and still teaching. No outward symptoms so why would anyone think anything was wrong. I sure didn't. Back to my doctor again he refers me to a endocrinologist. A what???? Endocrinology is the branch of biology dealing with the endocrine glands and their secretions, especially in relation to their processes or functions. My glands in my throat were the problem so an appointment is scheduled for me about a month later. Meanwhile I am very busy and now I have fit more doctor appointments into my schedule. Have I mentioned this endocrinologist, Dr Lake, is younger than me? Craziness because now I feel I am getting old. He knows his stuff though and is a nice guy. Met with the doctor a couple times and decides a biopsy is the next stop. What the heck? How could I need a biopsy? Aren't those painful? I only knew of old people needing biopsies. I am not old. So much going on in my life, busy as ever, even with all the other stuff going on time for Science Fair. I can do this...I kept telling myself that. The biopsy was crazy, I was scared, but I made it through. The results came back and I got the worst news of my entire life. Cathy, you have cancer. What!?!?!? I didn't really say that or anything at all for that matter. I just cried. I cried for a day and off and on a few days afterwards. I was in the middle of everything, science fair, masters, teaching,  seriously dating a great guy. Life seemed to stop for a bit. Everything else kept going and for the next few weeks I figured out that I needed to keep going. That would prevent me from crying and dwelling on the big c-word. The day I was diagnosed seems like a blur now but I remember every detail of that day like it was yesterday. The only words I spoke after he told me was the name choice for my surgeon to perform the surgery. I mainly picked him because he was close and in my insurance. I went back to the Science Fair that day because life still goes on, right?


In hindsight, once I got the news, I should have taken a break from my masters and taken a break from a few other things. The break from my masters did eventually happen but an earlier break is the one thing I regret. I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. From what I was told, it is the best kind of cancer if you are gonna be diagnosed because of the it curable percentage and it does not spread. Yea, for good news but it is still the c-word. Not many people knew what I was dealing with. I wanted it that way. I have never wanted pity or sympathy for anything throughout my life. This was a personal issue and I did not want the whole world knowing. I was not that way in college though. Haha!

My thyroid was removed surgically December 20. Early Christmas break for me. I went home December 21 and the journey continues. Not many people talk about the recovery process. Recovery for me has been crazy. A roller coaster of emotions physical, emotional, and spiritual. My support system of family and friends kicked in even before the surgery. I know that now. After I was diagnosed my family and a few close friends were contacted and that was it. They were the only people that needed to know. I am not sure how I got through the few weeks between the diagnosis and the surgery. Just like I normally do, I kept a lot to myself. 


My body is adjusting to the medicine and so am I. I still consider myself in recovery because this journey is not over. I recently received an RAI treatment to zap any remaining cancer cells. This treatment included a non-iodine diet for 6 days before, 2 shot before the pill, isolation after the pill, and  maintaining time and distance from people for a week. That treatment is over and up next is a body scan. This scan will hopefully give results of cancer free. My cancer journey will end. My prognosis is positive and my doctor is happy with my progress since the surgery. My life has forever changed since I started this journey and sometimes it does not seem like it really happened. The scar on my neck and the pressure in my head reminds me that it did. I am not ashamed of my scar though. Eventually it will diminish and I am hoping the pressure will as well. I have a lot of living to do and more to accomplish in my life. This was just a detour for awhile. God gets all the credit for bringing me through this and I am glad I have remained close with him. 

Until next time...

When snow falls....